Will it ever end? Apparently not. Now there are whole
segments on CNN, MSNBC and "other" 24-hour news stations about the
latest n-bomb controversy.
In case you didn't see it or hear about it, a couple of the cackling hens over
on The View (Whoopi and Elisabeth) got into a heated debate about the use of
the word "nigger". Yes, I know that word makes some people
cringe, and I won't use it gratuitously to prove my point (the way Whoopi did),
but it's the pink elephant in the room and I've always been a little annoyed
with that whole "n-word" bullshit anyway. Anything made famous by the
OJ trial annoys me, but I digress...
So Elisabeth, in her perpetual state of wide-eyed wonder and still wearing her
rose colored glasses, wanted to know why it's OK for black people to use the
term with each other and how does she explain to her children that it's not OK
for them to use the term, but it's perfectly OK for their little black friends
to use it? (though I really have to wonder how many black friends the Hasslebacks
have, but I could be wrong). To this Whoopi and that resident idiot Sherri
Shepherd proceed to explain why black folks have rights that white folks
don't. Then Whoopi, who could have made a more cogent point through
articulation that didn't include a barrage of n-bombs, felt that it was
necessary to say "nigger" as many times as she possibly could before
the Producer could cut her off with a commercial break. Elisabeth and even
Stupid Sherri looked visibly uncomfortable, which is exactly what Whoopi wanted.
Then to my shock and horror, Elisabeth made a point that I actually agreed
with! Her point being that just because the word has become a part of pop culture, it should still be unacceptable for anyone of any color to use a word with such an
ugly and hateful history, especially if we hope
to move forward as a society.
Elisabeth makes a good point, but she is also a little
naive. Black folks have been calling each other a variation of the
"n-word" for decades and it does have a completely different meaning
when used "among family". Now with the popularity of rap music
among white suburban kids and the world, the word has become a part of popular
culture in a way that no one would have ever expected. There is now a
whole generation of kids for whom the word is the equivalent of saying
"dude". I was at a grocery store in Beverly Hills one day, and
I watched a group of four very white kids in a shiny new BMW dressed from head
to toe in Abercrombie and Fitch, call each other "nigga" like that
was all of their first names. To them this meant nothing derogatory. I knew
that, but I was still not cool with it. When they realized that I was looking
at them like they were crazy, one of the boys said "we don't mean it like that".
I know what he meant, and I still wasn’t cool with it.
I have had white people ask me more than once why black
people can say the word and they can't. The best answer I can give is
that if you ain't a member of the tribe, you don't get to practice the
customs. This is the analogy I like to use: It's like when you're with a friend, and that friend is mad at
their mom. That friend may go on a 20-minute tirade about what a horrible,
fucking bitch their mom is and how much they hate her. You may agree with
your friend, but at no time during or after that tirade do you dare agree (out
loud) with your friend and say "Yeah. Your mom IS a horrible
fucking bitch!" The reason you don't do that is because no matter how mad
your friend is at their mother, that's their mother, and only they
are allowed to call her a horrible fucking bitch. It's a family
thing. If you’re not family, keep your mouth shut! This rule
applies in many other areas as well. Women can jokingly call each other
"bitch" and it's not a problem, but if a guy calls a woman a bitch, the
word takes on a whole new meaning and tears may be shed and shoes thrown. Gay guys can drop an f-bomb in general or on each other, but that word
from a breeder (I can say breeder since I am one) is ugly and evil.
It's really very simple. I don't understand why there
is a debate about who can use the word and why, but I do now see that things
are grossly out of hand. What used to be something that was kept in the
community and among family has gone global and it's not OK. It's no
longer an innocuous little term that homeboys in the hood used among their
circle of friends. It really is a hateful, ugly word and is one of the reasons
that I can't listen to most rap songs. I have found myself being completely
mortified driving down Sunset Blvd. when I've seen a car full of teenagers of
any color bumping rap songs full of n-bombs. Elisabeth Hassleback did
make a good point. It's time to retire the word for everyone rather than
trying to enforce a double standard that doesn't work anymore. Black
folks can't be shocked or appalled when white kids buy a Jay-Z record and sing
along, "niggas" "bitches" "hoochies" and all. I'm
not a frequent user of the word, but I've been known to "go
there". From now on, I'm making a concerted effort NOT to go
there. After what I saw from Whoopi Goldberg, I'd be ashamed and
disgusted with myself if I did.
