Fierce Diva - Humor and Insight for the Grown and Sexy

Lost Dick. If Found, Please Return...

Ewwwww!!!! That's just nasty. LOL

The Bastard Break Up

This is funny! I don't know what would be worse. Getting dumped like this or dating a dude with this hairdo.

The Great "N-Word" Debate...

Will it ever end? Apparently not. Now there are whole segments on CNN, MSNBC and "other" 24-hour news stations about the latest n-bomb controversy.
In case you didn't see it or hear about it, a couple of the cackling hens over on The View (Whoopi and Elisabeth) got into a heated debate about the use of the word "nigger".  Yes, I know that word makes some people cringe, and I won't use it gratuitously to prove my point (the way Whoopi did), but it's the pink elephant in the room and I've always been a little annoyed with that whole "n-word" bullshit anyway. Anything made famous by the OJ trial annoys me, but I digress...

So Elisabeth, in her perpetual state of wide-eyed wonder and still wearing her rose colored glasses, wanted to know why it's OK for black people to use the term with each other and how does she explain to her children that it's not OK for them to use the term, but it's perfectly OK for their little black friends to use it? (though I really have to wonder how many black friends the Hasslebacks have, but I could be wrong). To this Whoopi and that resident idiot Sherri Shepherd proceed to explain why black folks have rights that white folks don't.  Then Whoopi, who could have made a more cogent point through articulation that didn't include a barrage of n-bombs, felt that it was necessary to say "nigger" as many times as she possibly could before the Producer could cut her off with a commercial break. Elisabeth and even Stupid Sherri looked visibly uncomfortable, which is exactly what Whoopi wanted. Then to my shock and horror, Elisabeth made a point that I actually agreed with! Her point being that just because the word has become a part of pop culture, it should still be unacceptable for anyone of any color to use a word with such an ugly and hateful history, especially if we hope to move forward as a society. 

Elisabeth makes a good point, but she is also a little naive.  Black folks have been calling each other a variation of the "n-word" for decades and it does have a completely different meaning when used "among family".  Now with the popularity of rap music among white suburban kids and the world, the word has become a part of popular culture in a way that no one would have ever expected.  There is now a whole generation of kids for whom the word is the equivalent of saying "dude".  I was at a grocery store in Beverly Hills one day, and I watched a group of four very white kids in a shiny new BMW dressed from head to toe in Abercrombie and Fitch, call each other "nigga" like that was all of their first names. To them this meant nothing derogatory. I knew that, but I was still not cool with it. When they realized that I was looking at them like they were crazy, one of the boys said "we don't mean it like that". I know what he meant, and I still wasn’t cool with it. 

I have had white people ask me more than once why black people can say the word and they can't.  The best answer I can give is that if you ain't a member of the tribe, you don't get to practice the customs.  This is the analogy I like to use: It's like when you're with a friend, and that friend is mad at their mom. That friend may go on a 20-minute tirade about what a horrible, fucking bitch their mom is and how much they hate her.  You may agree with your friend, but at no time during or after that tirade do you dare agree (out loud) with your friend and say "Yeah. Your mom IS a horrible fucking bitch!" The reason you don't do that is because no matter how mad your friend is at their mother, that's their mother, and only they are allowed to call her a horrible fucking bitch.  It's a family thing.  If you’re not family, keep your mouth shut!  This rule applies in many other areas as well.  Women can jokingly call each other "bitch" and it's not a problem, but if a guy calls a woman a bitch, the word takes on a whole new meaning and tears may be shed and shoes thrown. Gay guys can drop an f-bomb in general or on each other, but that word from a breeder (I can say breeder since I am one) is ugly and evil. 

It's really very simple.  I don't understand why there is a debate about who can use the word and why, but I do now see that things are grossly out of hand.  What used to be something that was kept in the community and among family has gone global and it's not OK.  It's no longer an innocuous little term that homeboys in the hood used among their circle of friends. It really is a hateful, ugly word and is one of the reasons that I can't listen to most rap songs. I have found myself being completely mortified driving down Sunset Blvd. when I've seen a car full of teenagers of any color bumping rap songs full of n-bombs.  Elisabeth Hassleback did make a good point.  It's time to retire the word for everyone rather than trying to enforce a double standard that doesn't work anymore.  Black folks can't be shocked or appalled when white kids buy a Jay-Z record and sing along, "niggas" "bitches" "hoochies" and all. I'm not a frequent user of the word, but I've been known to "go there".  From now on, I'm making a concerted effort NOT to go there.  After what I saw from Whoopi Goldberg, I'd be ashamed and disgusted with myself if I did.

Didn't Email, No Longer Frustrated, Still Horny

My longing for Jerry was fleeting. After a couple of days it was the old "out of sight, out of mind." As the saying goes: The best way to get over one man is to get under another one. :o)

Jesse Jackson - There's a Village Missing an Idiot

Just when you thought it was safe, Jesse "Fucktard" Jackson rears his ugly head and sticks his big fat foot right in his big dumb mouth! He's a blowhard bore that has become increasingly insignificant. Now he only gets press by threatening Barack Obama's man-parts on Fox News of all places! I'm sure the shitheads at Fixed News couldn't wait to put Jesse's silly ass on blast. I bet they were praying that they could get at least one intelligible sound bite from the idiot, but they had no idea what a goldmine they were about to get! Woooh-Weeee. They got Jesse to disparage their common enemy without having to look like the haters they are. What a lucky break!
I am no fan of Jesse J. I've always known the dude was a tool and I never quite trusted him. When I was in the 11th grade, he came to my high school to talk to all of the black and brown kids about staying in school, being responsible and furthering their educations.  Sounds a lot like what Obama has been saying. Hmmm....strange that Jesse would have a problem with that??? Is it because he's been pushed out of the spotlight by a younger, better looking, far more educated and articulate black man that actually managed to become the Democratic nominee for President? Fucking player hater!
I never understood why anyone paid any damn attention to Jesse anyway. I think he’s a bonehead. With that in mind, I want to know two things:
1. Who made Jesse Jackson a "black leader"? I don't recall an election where black folks voted for Jesse as our leader and I sure as hell wouldn't have voted for him if there had been one.
2. What the hell is Jesse saying? I can' understand 99% of what comes out of the dude's mouth. He always sounds like he has a mouth full of shit and it's painful to hear him "speak".
Now I’ll add to that list that I also think Jesse is a big punk. He talks shit then apologizes when he's exposed.  If he wants to fondle Obama's junk, then cut it off and keep it as a souvenir, he should just own up to it. Don't run your mouth then think you can make it all better by hanging your head in shame and offering a bullshit "I'm sorry".
I'm also really tired of folks like Jesse Jackson getting pissed off when another black person of influence speaks the truth. Stevie Wonder can see that the black community has a number of problems that are tearing it apart. Turning a blind eye and not speaking up because you don't want put the dirty laundry on front street is not fooling anyone. Turn on the news. The story has been broken. Bill Cosby was right when he called on black men to get their shit together and take responsibility for the babies they make and treat their "baby mamas" right. Barack Obama is right when he tells the community to take personal responsibility for improving its quality of life by getting an education and building strong black families.  That is far from "talking down" to black people. That's acknowledging the pink elephant in the room and attempting to send it on its way. People can play the victim and refuse to see the big picture or they can accept and appreciate the hard truth from a man who didn't fall victim to his circumstances and leads by example. Jesse Jackson needs to cut off his own nuts, and his tongue while he's at it. He'd probably be easier to understand that way.

Horny, Frustrated and Ready to Email...

About a month ago, I started a new job.  Things there are going well.  The people are pretty cool for the most part and I'm learning a lot of new stuff that's actually very interesting.  All is well.
My company does a lot of collateral and other marketing materials for our clients so that requires a creative team to design the stuff.  The company tends to use temporary employees for the creative work since there are lulls in the amount of design needed so they don't want to pay for full-timers. One of these temps was a guy I'll call Jerry.
I noticed Jerry on my first day when I looked around the room during my introduction to the rest of the company. Jerry had a very large, bright smile on his face that was very welcoming.  Later he approached me in the hallway and formally introduced himself.  He seemed like a nice, friendly guy. Slightly flirty, but non-threatening.  Not my type, but a nice guy nonetheless.  A couple of days later during a meeting at which we were both in attendance, I looked up several times to find Jerry staring at me every time. Surprisingly, I didn't find him creepy, but he still wasn't my type. He seemed a little "Crunchy Granola/New Agey" to me and I just wasn't feelin' him. I didn't find Jerry unattractive, I just wasn't attracted to him. I even saw him at the gym one night, but he didn't see me. I didn't say a word to him for fear that he would feel like we were on neutral ground and he might make a move.  Yes, I can be full of myself.  Go ahead and judge me. I'm too cool to care. Just kidding;)
Over the last couple of weeks, Jerry and I worked together on a couple of projects and we chatted a bit and shared a couple of laughs.  He turned out to be as cool and friendly as I first thought. He was starting to grow on me, but I still wasn't interested. Until a couple of days ago...
Monday morning, Jerry comes walking into the office with a fresh new haircut and wearing a cool shirt. He was looking pretty good! His hair before was a hot mess and one of the reasons I wasn't feelin' the love. Now you could see how gorgeous his deep blue eyes are and his perfect smile stood out just a bit more. I (and a couple of other ladies) complimented Jerry on his new-found hotness.
Later that day, Jerry came in my office and we started chatting about travel, foreign language, music, our interests outside of work and life in general.  Turns out we had a lot in common.  On Tuesday, Jerry stopped by my office again to continue our conversation from the day before. We added books to our list of "things in common." As Jerry was standing there, I found myself feeling all warm and fuzzy and fantasizing about gettin' ten kinds of freaky with him! Now it has been a few months in the desert for me, but I was genuinely attracted to the dude and I really wanted to make out with him...among other things.
Just so happens that during our conversation, I asked Jerry how long he was assigned to the company.  He said that it was indefinite as long as they had work.  Somehow we started talking about networking and I mentioned LinkedIn. I told him that I had made some good connections there and he told me that he also had an account. I told him to look me up and I'd add him to my network. He seemed excited about maintaining a connection and I was pretty pleased too. I was enjoying our flirtation.
This morning I walked into the office and heard the sad announcement that yesterday was Jerry's last day.  There wasn't enough work to keep him busy so they sent him on his way.  He got the call after hours from his agency.  Boo hoo!  Who am I going to flirt with now? And now that my mind has gone racing to those naughty places, I'm one horny mess! I know I told Jerry to look me up, but I'm seconds away from looking him up first.  Actually, I already looked him up. I just punked out on shooting him an email. I think I'll hold out for a few days "Swingers" style.  Hopefully, Jerry will reach out to me first.  I just hope that if we do re-connect he hasn't let that beat down hairdo crop back onto his head. I'd probably still jump his bones since I know what's underneath, but I'd still rather do "Hot Jerry". Wish me luck!

OMG! This Whore is Dirty....

I've picked on the dirty ho' chasing men that post on Craigslist looking for desperate women to cheat on their wives with.  Today I decided to see what the lovely ladies were up to and boy did I find a doozy! First, this skank can't even spell Manhattan, then she not only advertises that she's a cheating whore, but a cheating whore that want's some strangers spunk all up in her business. No wonder there is a rise in the rate of HIV infection among heterosexual women. I sure hope this was an ad placed by one of those dick-teasing pic collectors otherwise, this chick needs to strapped to rocket and launced into outer space where she can't do anymore harm. Her poor husband. Read on...

I will beg you not - w4m - 34 (Manhatten Beach)

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Reply to: Festering Boils
Date: 2008-06-28,  1:51PM PDT

to cum in my fertile  pussy but you will do it anyway and I will end up loving it.

Married sub slut looking to play with a man who is forceful and knows how to use a woman.  I love cream pie and am discreet.

Blow jobs are my favorite to get you ready to drop load in or on me. 

38D Tits - 5'7 - blond hair that you can grab - will wear in pony tail or pig tails or straight down.

Today I am free all day! Want to force me to take you in me deep?

DD Free and you be the same. Ass is open as well as any good slut should have. Obedient but not into pain. Enjoy tits squeezed and pulled. Would love to suck you off or please you on your balcony or boat while we know others are probably watching.

Can't host but willing to be creative.  Weight - about 145 - curvy :)

George Carlin,American Badass...R.I.P

More sad news...one of the funniest and most profound comedians of all time has died.  Yet another bummer.  I just finished crying (literally) about my man Tim Russert, and now GC has gone and died on me too.  I'm not crying this time. I think George had a pretty damn good life and considering all the shit he did to himself, it's a miracle that he made it to 71 years old.  It's still sad though. The things he could have gotten away with saying as an 90 year old man would have been even funnier than the politically incorrect rants of his youth. I hope he and Tim are somewhere together having a good belly laugh.  Here's one of my favorite George Carlin routines...

R. Kelly - Dirty Bastard of the Decade!

I've been so busy with my new job that I haven't had the time to vent my absolute horror, outrage and disgust at the acquittal of R. Kelly on child pornography charges. I have to get this one out, late or not.

Why in the hell can’t a jury convict a celebrity? Does singing a bunch of lame R&B songs that all sound the same give you a free pass to have sex with little girls? Especially when there is video? WTF?!?! What do the rich and famous have to do, short of confessing to a crime, to get their asses thrown in jail for breaking the goddamn law? This man has a history of sleeping with under aged girls. Rumor has it that he has paid off at least 10 other girls for the same damned offense which says to me that he is a hardcore pedophile. Otherwise, why would he continue to tempt fate by sleeping with children?  He preys on little girls who are mesmerized by his fame and money. Then when he gets caught, he uses that same fame and fortune to convince the parents of these girls to let him get away with molesting their child by paying them off. The whole thing is just repugnant! These little girls are too wild for their own good. R. Kelly is a sick son of a bitch that apparently can’t deal with grown women and the parents that took the hush money are nothing more than pimps who should have been charged with child molestation as well.

This case also infuriates me for a couple of other reasons. It sickens me how the black community rallied around this sick criminal like what he did wasn’t “that bad”. I refused to watch the tape because I think it’s vile as well as illegal. Other people I’ve talked to that have seen the tape say that the person in the tape is definitely R. Kelly. Friends of the girl at the center of the trial testified that they recognized her as Kelly’s partner in the video so it should have been an open and shut case in my opinion. Just like other crimes involving high-profile black defendants, the black community immediately came to the asshole’s defense. His career didn’t suffer. His lifestyle didn’t change one bit, and he sold even more records than he did before he was exposed as the deviant that he is. The other thing that pisses me off is the apparent disregard for the value of a young black woman. It took four fucking years for that bastard to be tried and that was after the two years it took for him to be indicted in the first place! The fact that there was any hesitation to bring such a heinous crime to trial boggles the mind. I’d be willing to bet that if it had been a tape with R. Kelly having sex and pissing on an Ashley Tisdale look-a-like, his ass would have been locked up the same day, denied bail, tried within 6 months and he’d be on year 5 of his 15-year sentence.

When R. Kelly does this again (and he will) I hope it’s with the 13-year old daughter of one of the star-struck idiot jurors that acquitted him. It probably wouldn’t matter though. They’re probably hoping for the same thing so that they can get paid too. Sick, twisted and pretty damned sad:(

Tim Russert R.I.P...

A great man and journalist died today and I am pretty bummed about it. Tim Russert was a brilliant and thoughtful man who had a way with people that garnered respect and admiration. When I heard the news of his death, the first thing I thought was how sad it was that he wouldn't be around for the upcoming election.  I was sad for him because general election coverage was where he really shined, and I was sad for the American people who looked to him for that extra bit of insight that only he could provide.
I'll never forget his excitement during the June 2nd primaries when Barack Obama finally clinched the number of required delegates to become the presumptive Democratic nominee for President. While everyone else went on about the history-making moment in terms of the upcoming election and the uphill battles of both candidates, Tim commented about how at that at moment, he wished he was a history teacher at an inner-city school so that he could share in the excitement and express the importance of that moment with the kids at that school.  He was so genuinely moved by the  moment, and that moved me.
Tim Russert was one of the good ones. My heart goes out to his family and colleagues who all seem to be absolutely heartsick over his loss. I hope that people say the kinds of amazing things about me that I've heard said about him when I leave this world. Godspeed Tim!