Fierce Diva - Humor and Insight for the Grown and Sexy: Men

About a month ago, I started a new job. Things there are going well. The people are pretty cool for the most part and I'm learning a lot of new stuff that's actually very interesting. All is well.
My company does a lot of collateral and other marketing materials for our clients so that requires a creative team to design the stuff. The company tends to use temporary employees for the creative work since there are lulls in the amount of design needed so they don't want to pay for full-timers. One of these temps was a guy I'll call Jerry.
I noticed Jerry on my first day when I looked around the room during my introduction to the rest of the company. Jerry had a very large, bright smile on his face that was very welcoming. Later he approached me in the hallway and formally introduced himself. He seemed like a nice, friendly guy. Slightly flirty, but non-threatening. Not my type, but a nice guy nonetheless. A couple of days later during a meeting at which we were both in attendance, I looked up several times to find Jerry staring at me every time. Surprisingly, I didn't find him creepy, but he still wasn't my type. He seemed a little "Crunchy Granola/New Agey" to me and I just wasn't feelin' him. I didn't find Jerry unattractive, I just wasn't attracted to him. I even saw him at the gym one night, but he didn't see me. I didn't say a word to him for fear that he would feel like we were on neutral ground and he might make a move. Yes, I can be full of myself. Go ahead and judge me. I'm too cool to care. Just kidding;)
Over the last couple of weeks, Jerry and I worked together on a couple of projects and we chatted a bit and shared a couple of laughs. He turned out to be as cool and friendly as I first thought. He was starting to grow on me, but I still wasn't interested. Until a couple of days ago...
Monday morning, Jerry comes walking into the office with a fresh new haircut and wearing a cool shirt. He was looking pretty good! His hair before was a hot mess and one of the reasons I wasn't feelin' the love. Now you could see how gorgeous his deep blue eyes are and his perfect smile stood out just a bit more. I (and a couple of other ladies) complimented Jerry on his new-found hotness.
Later that day, Jerry came in my office and we started chatting about travel, foreign language, music, our interests outside of work and life in general. Turns out we had a lot in common. On Tuesday, Jerry stopped by my office again to continue our conversation from the day before. We added books to our list of "things in common." As Jerry was standing there, I found myself feeling all warm and fuzzy and fantasizing about gettin' ten kinds of freaky with him! Now it has been a few months in the desert for me, but I was genuinely attracted to the dude and I really wanted to make out with him...among other things.
Just so happens that during our conversation, I asked Jerry how long he was assigned to the company. He said that it was indefinite as long as they had work. Somehow we started talking about networking and I mentioned LinkedIn. I told him that I had made some good connections there and he told me that he also had an account. I told him to look me up and I'd add him to my network. He seemed excited about maintaining a connection and I was pretty pleased too. I was enjoying our flirtation.
This morning I walked into the office and heard the sad announcement that yesterday was Jerry's last day. There wasn't enough work to keep him busy so they sent him on his way. He got the call after hours from his agency. Boo hoo! Who am I going to flirt with now? And now that my mind has gone racing to those naughty places, I'm one horny mess! I know I told Jerry to look me up, but I'm seconds away from looking him up first. Actually, I already looked him up. I just punked out on shooting him an email. I think I'll hold out for a few days "Swingers" style. Hopefully, Jerry will reach out to me first. I just hope that if we do re-connect he hasn't let that beat down hairdo crop back onto his head. I'd probably still jump his bones since I know what's underneath, but I'd still rather do "Hot Jerry". Wish me luck!

What is the deal with these skinny-ass men running around? Some of these dudes are smaller than 12-year old girls and they are adult men! I blame guys like Pete Wentz for this onslaught of men that won't eat. They run around in those low rise, skinny jeans that they bought in the juniors section and it's just not cute! What the hell can you do with a man that small? Do you even want to see what his bony little ass looks like naked? I need a man with some weight on him. A MAN that can knock the wind out of me when he jumps on top of me. Not some stickman. Aside from teenage starfuckers who are hatin' on Ashlee Simpson for bagging Skinny Pete, what kind of woman wants a man that she can probably take in an arm wrestle? I'm talking normal-sized women too. The dude in this picture couldn't weigh more than 110 pounds. Does a guy this thin even have testosterone? My 10-year old nephew weighs about 80 pounds. This is just not acceptable. Eat a fuckin' steak dude AND a fully loaded bake potato then wash it down with a peanut butter chocolate milkshake. You deserve it!